Skip to main content

6 Months


6 months ago today I arrived at almost 9,000 feet on top of a mountain in a snow storm in negative temps with a raging cold and a little bit of hanger (hungry/anger for those unaware). I was home and it felt nothing like it. 


There wasn't much that was unexpected my first few days and weeks here: loneliness, altitude adjustment, lots of tears, SNOW, pure fear, more snow, gorgeous surroundings...

Between those early days in January and now I've gotten used to this new place and settled into a routine. I live in my first grown up apartment. I run a bike shop and that place fulfills me. I live 5 minutes from miles of gorgeous trails. I've enjoyed many a brewery mixed with a few hikes and a couple of bike rides. I've continued to do things that scare me...like going to breweries alone knowing no one and sticking out like a sore thumb. I've learned to bring a jacket everywhere I go and that what I thought was bi-polar weather in Georgia doesn't hold a candle to Colorado's bat shit weather patterns. I've even found a couple of friends. 


There is still fear. There are still tears. There are still really dark moments of loneliness when I'd do anything to go back. There are still days when I question if this was the right move even though deep down I know I belong here. I miss my people...and if you're reading this, you're most likely one of them. (I mean, who the hell else reads this?!) The cards and calls and random texts and visits have kept me going. I'm not really sure what I'd do without them and the support because this, as predicted, has been hard. REALLY hard. 

Mostly, the last 6 months between then and now have forced me to look at me. Another not unexpected consequence of moving away, but what it's shown me about myself and where I am in life HAS been. Healing takes time and that's no different with me, apparently. Turns out, I wasn't as OK as I thought, but life is nothing if you aren't constantly trying to make yourself better, right?

So here I am, living the dream in a beautiful place I'm lucky enough to call home...and it certainly feels much more like home than on that cold day 6 months ago. I love you, #coloRADo.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Goodbye.

 “I don’t know if I should congratulate you or console you.” - Craig “How about both?” - Me This was a conversation in our kitchen earlier this week. After a year and a half of weekly therapy, I had my last session with my therapist Tuesday. Not because I was over it or because it wasn’t working or because he retired. Nope. Because we got to a place where we could both say I’ve got the tools I need to move on. I have to say that there is no timeline for therapy and every situation is unique. I moved on from intensive therapy with my therapist because that it was worked for ME. I am certainly no expert and I have a feeling this isn’t the end of my therapy forever, but I do know that my experience with the right person allowed me to heal in ways I literally never thought possible. And it gave me the experience of a healthy “goodbye”. I was never prepared for that, so when we set an end date (not-so-coincidentally my Nanna’s birthday), it was hard to process. No one talks ab...

November 19th

There's apparently something about November 19th and changes in my life... 2 years ago: moving out of the ex's house 1 year ago: announcing that I was making the big move to beautiful Colorado Today: planning my next big adventure! After 2 years of major life changes and constant adjustment, I'm finally feeling like a settled human being. So, I've decided that 2018 is going to be the year I push myself physically and mentally. 2 half marathons are on the schedule along with the most exciting part: a multi day bike adventure with an assisted athlete here in Colorado in support of The Kyle Pease Foundation !!  I've learned enough about myself that I will not agree to push myself hard physically for any length of time unless there is another person who is behind the WHY. Doing this in partnership with another athlete who necessarily wouldn't be able to otherwise, is enough to get my ass off my couch and get it done! Details are still being worke...

Daughter.

When you're estranged from not one, but basically both parents, the heaviness of that can still be palpable. Most days, most weeks, and months even, it's fine. I've learned to navigate questions like, "Where do your parents live?" or the weird feeling in my gut when someone says, "Oh, my mom sent me this from this favorite place of mine." I've learned how to adjust to Mother's and Father's Days by staying off of social media and doing something that makes me happy like getting out into nature. Some of these times are better than others. Here's the thing: whether or not the choice to go no contact with the two people who were supposed to show you all the basis of love was good or not, is incredibly difficult. Because social media is what it is, yesterday was apparently "International Daughters Day". It didn't bother me so much yesterday, but this morning wasn't off to a great start and for some reason, I felt agitated. I ...