A Lovely Life

Remember that one time when I said I was going to keep learning (the hard way) little lessons in Colorado? Well, here are some more for your reading pleasure. No one told me that I'd have to wash my car...a LOT. The shit they lay down on the roads combined with dirty snow makes my hard to dirty and already gray Honda Accord straight up nasty. Like, I have to use that gas station squeegee thing on my HEADLIGHTS, nasty. Luckily every other car on the road looks the same, so I feel less bad about it. I will tell you guys that getting my car washed the other day made my heart burst with happiness which is also indicative of the fact that I can adult SO HARD. I also knew I would need boots. I just didn't realize that I would need all the boots. My Tom's and ballet flats don't do shit in freezing temps and wearing them makes me look like an asshat. I'm used to having several shoe choices when I go out because, girl, so this has been an adjustment. I've been livin...

I'm not sure what happens that brings me from being OK with things to a bawling mess on my drive home after work, but it happens. It's that smack in the face forcing me into the lonely parts of my reality, I suppose. And Reality can be a big ole bitch! I knew these moments would come. I knew that I'm an emotional creature and that this would be a little more tough on me than for most.  I knew they would bring huge tears and what feels like a breaking heart. Knowing all of this hasn't made it any easier, though.  I talked about embracing the suck and I do...or at least, I'm trying. I have to make it clear that leaving Georgia wasn't just for a kick ass job out West. It wasn't just the opportunity for me to try new things, step outside of my comfort zone and get a fresh start. I knew that leaving Georgia meant I would be in state where I knew no one and that these lonely nights would come and they would force me to face myself. It's uncomfortabl...

I've been here about 2 and a half weeks and already I feel like I've learned so much. And typically I've learned the hard way.  Because. Helen. Example? Snow tires. On my first free day off from work I got Brucey and myself all ready to go for a hike...there are so many places within a 10 minute drive from where we live and I was SO excited to get out like an adult and go do something active. We didn't make it out of the driveway. Halfway up to be precise. Turns out, my front wheel drive Honda Accord with questionable tread on it's tires to begin with, was incredibly ill-equipped for snow. Halfway. We got halfway. Then we rolled back a little bit to "get more traction" because I was told that's something you do. Terrible idea in hindsight. Good news is I missed the stone wall that lines one side of my driveway by a literal inch (I measured). Bad news is I had to climb out of my passenger side, I cried a lot and poor Bruce had just gone on the most ...

Y esterday at the shop it seemed as though every person that walked in the door was a regular...they would come in to the store, see me, sorta smile and immediately look for a familiar face. In fact, someone begrudgingly said, "Oh. A new face." before finding one of the guys in the service area. Even though I know that this is temporary and those same people will soon know me and be MY regulars, it still sucked. Couple that with having Sunday and Monday off and desperately trying to think of things to do besides sit here and stare at Brucey and I remembered that I'm alone out here. Normally, after a tough day (or any day, really), I'd find someone to do dinner with. Or we'd grab drinks...or we'd make plans for me to go over later in the week to hang out with their cute kid and catch up. Last night that wasn't an option. I came home, had a glass of wine, hugged my dog's neck and cried. I remind myself daily that I haven't been here 2 weeks and ...

In early November, I made the very scary decision to move to Colorado. I got a job offer I couldn't refuse from a shop that sought ME out! Yes, they heard of me (SHIT) and WANTED me to work for them....How could I say no?! It was a fresh start in a new state and the opportunity to push the boundaries of my comfort zone. I quietly started telling friends and family who were all incredibly supportive. From my brother who has yet to tell me how much he'll miss me (YOU BETTER) and did nothing but end every text with an exclamation point in excitement, to multiple friends offering to drive my scared ass across the country. Being a single gal with a dog, no partner and strained relationships with my parents, my friends are my family. (That made leaving a bitch, BTW.) There have been dark moments in all of this. Moments of complete panic and self doubt and "WHAT THE F--K AM I THINKING?!" moments. There still are....And when I was unexpectedly let go at the end of Nov...